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October 20, 2008
Getting out of the way of the client's process
At a recent AC Co-Coaching Forum here in West London (see the What's on page for future dates),we explored again the notion of "goals" or "no goals" taking a particular approach in our coaching practice. During a short coaching session, the coach actually said very little, but tuned in to the coachee with all their presence to allow them to find their own path and solution.
When I was the coach in the exercise, I concentrated primarily on listening and then feeding back the client's words that had the most impact on me as her listener. This seemed to help her to acknowledge what was really happening for her, rather than just telling me her story.
It was fascinating to notice how the coachee wended their way to resolve their issue with little "interference" or noticeable spoken intervention from the coach. This silence from the coach was very powerful and indeed prompted me to question how I might sometimes get in the way of my client through asking a question rather than just listening and waiting.
I personally find that "telling my story" can be extremely potent in my own change process, but there is sometimes an element of wanting to entertain the listener, so to have my own words fed back to me, means that I can't just skate on past the issue and its impact on my mood, my stuckness, my effectiveness.
In the corporate world, I realise too that sometimes there may be a tension when taking this more non-interventionist approach when working in a corporate context, where performance goals are often specified and agreed up front and the work is evaluated on this basis.
Nancy Kline's book, Time to Think, is really helpful in exploring this further. She also runs workshops here in the UK – find out more here.
Posted by Alison at October 20, 2008 05:22 PM
